


Displaced Shame and Affection

by lodessa



Category: Rome
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-21
Updated: 2007-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-07 17:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/433479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodessa/pseuds/lodessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything with her mother comes down to lust, lust of the flesh or lust for power. It is all very much the same with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Displaced Shame and Affection

Atia always thought that weaving was dull and only dull people need resort to such lifeless pastimes. That's what she'd told Octavia at least, when she asked why she'd not taught her to weave, like all the other mothers. Octavian suggested that Atia was lousy at weaving, based on the resentment in their mother's voice when the subject came up. 

There were many normal occupations Atia detested, anything useful, or requiring concentration that didn't not lead to immediate pleasure and gratification, or promise power later on. As a result, Octavia had to learn from the slaves if she was to learn at all. It was from the slaves, also, that she first heard anything about her father, other than her faded childish memories. Atia never spoke of him.

The weaving is one of many reasons that Octavia is filled with shame and nerves when her mother sends her to Servilia. Servilia's kindness makes her feel all the more humiliated, reminded of her mother's cruelty. When she sits down at the loom she prays to the gods that it won't be clear her patterns are those of slaves. Not that Servilia will mock, but she cannot abide any more shame on her house and on her personage than her mother has already wrought.

Servilia praises her wearing without a hint of irony, serves her like an equal, like they are not part of Atia's game. Octavia doesn't believe her at first. It seems too implausible. It is only later that Octavian lets slip a rumor about the beginning of Atia's battle with Servilia. The word unnatural is one he has heard used. Octavian is young but he was always much cleverer than Octavia and she believes him. Everything with her mother comes down to lust, lust of the flesh or lust for power. It is all very much the same with her.

After that, Octavia can't help noticing the way Servilia's hand lingers at the base of her neck, the way her dress gapes open as she bends to retrieve a piece of fiber. Servilia is dignified and calm. Octavia much prefers her to Atia's censure and ridicule. She leans back against Servilia's curves and lets her older woman's fingertips rest where the swell of her breasts begin. It is no wonder Atia resents her, Servilia whispers, Octavia is such a flower as to make Atia in her prime look a common weed.


End file.
